My Life With Him!
by wreckedship
Summary: Matt and Richard writing their diaries about their daily lives ever since they met. But each has his own point of view...Richard/Matt X3
1. Chapter 1

hi everyone! this is a parody on the PO5...specifically Richard and Matt... their relationship .'

enjoy!

**My life with HIM!**

My life with Matt (Richard's diary)

Dear diary…

Okay forget all that crap in the beginning and the time and date. What the heck!

I'll be direct speaking here.

Today at work, a young boy…well not so young, he's 14. a 14 year old boy came to my office and talked to me about…weird stuff.

Something about a witch and nuclear factory blah blah BLAH…

That's not the point. He looked…how do I say it… he was REALLY handsome and…seductive.

I dunno how, but I think I fell for him from the first sight…

NO! BAD RICHY!!!

I can't love a young boy! Correction… I SHOULDN'T love a boy!... I really have to find a girlfriend ASAP… sigh.

…..what was his name?... matty~

Cough… i gotta focus on finding a girl.

My life with Richard (Matt's diary)

Who the hell convinced me to write this crappy stuff? NOBODY!!!

My mind screamed out for help. And no one's there to hear me or help me! Am living with a WITCH!

NO! i'm not writing this because of her. I'm writing this because of the creep I met today! I met that stupid young journalist.

I thought he'll help me with my issue. At first I was happy. He was actually hearing ME!...NOT!!!!

He was spacing out and kept staring at me. What was he looking at? And did he even hear a word I said?

He randomly went saying " Do you watch TV a lot?"

And, for crying out loud, I DID see the drool hanging out of his mouth! YUCK by all means!!!!

And I could've swore he was making a sketch of me… okay I'll puke now.

*Is puking for real*…

--


	2. Chapter 2

hello~

long time i know :P

sorry, i was really busy...and my mind is not working properly ToT

but here it is!!! CHAPTER 2!

enjoy.

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My Life With Him

**My life with Matt (Richard's diary**)

Hello again Mr. diary~

Should I give you a name?...matt?

No no no!!! bad idea…I'll do bad stuff everytime I grab you…*blush*

Ahem… anyway, today was SUPER weird!!!

I mean…I was only roaming in that area, and suddenly came the angelic call for my name…

No…literally…it was angelic. I heard matt calling my name and I drove quickly to that place…the ewwy stinky muddy place..

But poor matty was sinking!!! And I had to hold his hand!! I had to! To pull him out! I had to hold his warm and caring hand…

And his cute face while terrified. sigh~

He was in my car…

…and NO I wasn't following him! Am not a stalker!!! …FXXX you!!!

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**My life with Richard (Matt's diary)**

…he WAS TOTALLY FOLLOWING ME!!!!!!

That obsessed journalist! How the hell did he find me?

I was sinking in the middle of nowhere! And he acts innocent!

The stupid question he muttered "what the…" WHAT THE MY AXX!

And then… and THEN…ok he helped and saved me from the dogs.

STILL!!! I was in his car! And he was looking at me all the TIME!!!

Mom, dad…help…*dramatically cries on bed*

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sorry matt's part is short :P but i hope you like it~


	3. Chapter 3

**HELLO~ am back with the third chapter... but i guess no one's liking the story DX**

**Please Review!!! and of course enjoy! :D**

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**My life with Matt (Richard's diary)**

Diary?

Let the music play.. and let the world dance… start the fireworks!!!

No it's not a festival! But more important occasion!

MATT is in MY apartment!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!

And he's going to wear my clothes –squeals like a girl-

Oh. My. GOD!!!! He's only wearing my T-shirt and a TOWEL!

…I'll have a nosebleed…

ahem… anyway! He argued with me about how I found him. He actually thinks I was STALKING him!!! I wasn't!...i swear…

after that, he started telling me about his story… and the leaf project, which reminded me of "Naruto" –giggles-

awww Matty is cute when he talks… I so much felt like hugging him. But he would've killed me. He was angry because I kept arguing with him….sigh~

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**My life with Richard (Matt's diary)**

Oh. OH! The pervert took me to his apartment!!!

God knows what he's planning for me… he told me to get rid of my clothes…….

And he only gave me a towel and a T-shirt…that's totally fine and not pervy! Am I worried? Not at all! HELL I AM!!!!!!!!!

He sat and kept staring at my virgin body-whines like a bitch-

And then he kept lying about hearing my voice! I mean, I didn't shout. The windows were up, and he was AWAY!!!!

How he heard? Only one thought in mind…he was following me.

He forced me to tell my story. And he promised not to laugh but laughed…what an idiot! He believes in mutants and sci-fi and doesn't believe in witches.

I'm really tired of talking to him so I decided to act sleepy. Somehow I was afraid he'll ask me to sleep with him. But thank god, he pointed at the spare room.

Sigh, living with him is no less risky than living in Lesser Malling.

…Wait, did he really have a girlfriend?...

(and matt couldn't sleep well that night, thinking of the possibility of Richard having a girlfriend)

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**I kinda ignored some details in the novel... but i hope you liked it...hopefully**

**so please let me know if you want more _**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello!**

**yes i brought a new...short chapter. i hope you like it...whoever is reading :P**

**well i was thinking...should i stick completely to the real plot? or should i add some spices?**

**enjoy!**

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**My life with Matt (Richard's diary)**

Diary!

I was rude! I WAS RUDE TO MATTY!!! Oh god. Forgive me.

I sorta felt like going in his room and watch him sleeping,but…

He was still awake –pouts- so I told him that I wanted to live longer that's why I can't keep him.

And he was sad! Can you belive that? He DOES want to stay with me! HAH! In your face silly diary!

Anyways, when I was about to leave… Matt told me to "wait" and he started telling me his deepest secret!... Matt told him his…weird secret…

I was listening!... but there was a part that I didn't hear because… well matt was yawning and rolling in bed so HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FOCUS ON SOMETHING ELSE???? Gaaah!!! I was about to jump him any second!!

But he fell asleep…and I looked at the angelic face of his…should I print a soft kiss on his- no no no!!!

Sigh… maybe sometime later…

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**My life with Richard (Matt's diary)**

Oh god. The idiot suddenly opened my door and pretended to be checking on me.

And what's with the "I have other plans"? I mean, I wasn't killing those people! He's lame!!!

But he offered to help… and suddenly I found myself calling him and… I actually told him my secret…

I never told anyone before… what happened to me?... why am I telling him? Of all people!!

He was staring at me the whole time. I'm not even sure if he was actually listening to me or not…

But I was really sleepy. And slowly I was drifting off to sleep…

one thing… I was worried that he'd do something stupid when I'm completely asleep…did he?...

God help me. I don't have other places to go to…

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**I'm sorry if it's getting boring Dx**

**I don't know what's with me lately... but i hope you liked it! Review plz**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello dear readers! I'm sorry i was busy with college.**

**i'm trying to write more though, no worry**

**i want to thank the readers and the reviewers a lot! and i hope you like what you're reading**

**enjoy~**

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**My Life With Him**

My life with Matt (Richard's diary)

Diary!

Today I went out with Matty!!!

…Oooh I wish it was a date for real. I just took him to Michael Marsh to try convincing him that it was science and not magic! And to spend time with him.

The man talked a lot. And Matt seemed a little bored. So, NEXT STEP!

I took him to that weird woman "Ashwood". She was creepy… REALLY creepy!

She was talking about some nonsense and I snapped –of course I had to show Matty the bold side of me- but Matty was interested in whatever she was saying.

Well even if I disagreed with him, I had to let him see her. It could be of a help!...and to spend more time with him…

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My life with Richard (Matt's diary)

DAMN THAT RICHARD! He pisses me off!!!

Why? I don't know… I'm just pissed off…

He actually forced me to listen to whatever crap that old scientist was ranting about.

Is he trying to convince me that it was "science" and not magic? Well screw him! I believe what I want to believe!!!

Then he took me to the blind woman who I think was of a great help! But the ASSHOLE decided to snap at her and act all "we're wasting everyone's time" kind of shit.

HEY!!! It's MY case! I decide when to leave and when to stay! He doesn't have the right to boss me around.

Then again… he was old, had a car…and knew a lot of stuff…

But that doesn't restrain me from saying... DAMN THAT RICHARD!!!

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**short? boring? sorry...**

**i'll try to make next chapter better!**


	6. Chapter 6

**HELLO~**

**I'm sorry i couldn't update sooner! but to all people who reviewed and faved... thank you~ -chu-**

**enjoy!:D**

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**My Life With Him**

**My Life With Matt (Richard's diary)**

Dear sweet diary;

Once upon a time, there was a charming little creature called Matty!

Once you look in the cute wittwe eyes of that creature, you can NEVER say no!

… yeah, he talked me into going to the museum. I don't know how he does that!

We met the weird professor and DAMN he was eating my matty with his dirty eyes! Only I am allowed to do that, you hear me?

Well… he was just examining him… -cough-

But seriously… his eyes never never left matt. That really annoyed me… jealous? You have no idea, and neither matt does –sobs-

But then it came! Matt lost his temper, and MY GOD how adorable he looked –sigh~-

because, you see, the boy REALLY needed an answer while everyone around him, except for ME, was being an ass to him!

...err…ouch? Matt actually mentioned me, and he…said that I didn't want him!... if only he knew –sobs again-

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**My Life With Richard (Matt's diary)**

Diary?

Today was weird!

But if we compare it with Richard's weirdness, today will be as normal as seeing a man in a skirt… it is normal!

I mean, all of a sudden Richard decided we should go see this professor Dravid.

And the meanie! He blamed it on me! I didn't even tell him "we should go". He was the one who called the professor! Then he goes like "I don't know how I let you talk me into this"… and I said: whatever, asshole!...not really…

We walked in that HUGE museum. Awww that was so cool! Wait…that's not what matters…

We sat with the professor and, like ALWAYS, Richard was the one babbling with the man. –rolls eyes- it was my case dammit!

And the professor was looking at me all the time... and Richard was looking at me all the time (duh! he always does! that perverted sonofa...)

But the damn professor wasn't helping. And the bastard was so useless and just kept looking at me and glaring at the professor! MAN is he possessive and gay!

So I snapped! Yes people! ME…MATT… THE Matt! Snapped! –victory sign-

I did snap and yelled, but that didn't distract me from seeing Richard's reactions!

He flinched at first –giggles- and then I started talking and talking and decided to drag him in the talk…but in a bad way!

That's when I said "Richard doesn't want me hanging around with him" and Richard gasped and put a hand over his heart! –laughs loudly-

That was a priceless face he made! Richard is an asshole but he's so funny and I like seeing his weird expressions!

…Richard…funny… his expressions….i….like?...WTF?

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**XD hope you liked it people!**

**matt is acting weird in this chapter, right? :P**

**please tell me if you like it. and if you have suggestions, like if i should add my own plots and stuff or just stick to the novel's lines.**


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